My Birthday Message to the Martial Arts World

At any moment, on any given day of your life, you can look in the mirror and say, “Today, I chart a new path for myself.”

You can give up smoking or give up eating foods that don’t offer the promise of good health –or you can let go of some hate, some disempowering opinion, some grudge or sour attitude about something that is, in the big picture of life, petty, meaningless, and a ball-and-chain thwarting some aspect of the happiness you seek in life.

At any given moment you can look at someone you live with or near and say, “Beginning now, I will treat you as if you were the Lord God Herself.”
At any given moment you can look at the people you have in your immediate sphere of influence and say, “Let’s do what cannot be done. Let’s live as examples. Let’s attempt something that is, in itself, the perfect example of that which is best about being human.”

You can add to your life.

One hundred push ups and sit ups for health. One hour of training for your head and the heads of those who share the space you train in. Three purposeful acts of kindness. One act of conscious non-consumption. One act of peace towards another human being and/or the planet. Ten minutes of silent and peace-focused meditation.

At any given point this “martial arts industry” could step up and say, “Beginning today, we will represent not only the best-of-the-best in the physical arts of personal self-defense, but we will step up as protectors to the serenity of that little boy and girl, to the peace of the village, to each community we live in, and to the world itself.”

As martial artists we must be able to execute precise, dynamic, and beautifully effective techniques. We must also be able to execute precise, dynamic, and beautifully effective ideas.

We must have a solution to every physical attack that might cause us or someone we love harm ---and likewise, we must have a solution to all of the non-physical attacks that might harm us or someone / something we love and cherish.

Whether it is the punch to the face or the danger of unhealthy anger; the kick in the stomach or the fear and hatred of the unknown or different; whether it is the molestation or rape of the body or the spirit or one’s confidence or the world in which we live and depend on for survival, we can look in the mirror, on any given day, and as martial artists, vow to step up and be the change we want to see in the world.

We are so much more than can be represented by a punch or kick. What takes place in our schools is so much more than the simple act of repelling the bully. What we have the potential to do is so far beyond the name of our style, what billing service we use, our petty differences of opinion, or what can be accomplished in the ring.

In 2009, we could, if we wanted to, demonstrate something about what the martial arts are –and are not –better than any year in recorded history.

We could show how we have evolved from fearful self-defense and/or revenge to holders of the torch of self-defense for the soul –and for the wisdom of co-existence and sustainable living.

I will, for as long as my legs support me, seek to learn and practice a brutally effective form of self-defense, and I will teach those who want to learn, how to defend themselves from physical harm. Likewise, for as long as my legs support me and my thoughts remain coherent, I will seek to learn, practice, and teach a kind of thinking and action that brings about peace and happiness for myself and others.

Tom Callos

A Reminder to Keep Our Eyes Looking inthe Right Places

I feel the need (as usual) to remind you, teams, that the best place to find "martial arts philosophy and wisdom" is....

Wait, let me add:

The people who are going to have THE MOST influence in the martial arts world --the people who will give you the knowledge and tools to BE THE TEACHER you want to be (whether for 10 students or 10,000), the PEOPLE who can show "THE WAY" in a way that makes sense for today -and for tomorrow...

Have probably never thrown a kick or a punch in their lives.

I doubt that there is a martial artist in the world as wise as Jimmy Carter, as Nelson Mandela, as Rosa Parks, as Julia Hill, as Wangari Matthai, as E.O. Wilson, as Jane Goodall, as 1000 other modern day PEOPLE-WHO-TAKE-ACTION in the world.

THESE are the masters --and while we need to keep an eye on our precious "martial arts world" ---we really have very little to learn from in that context, and a whole lot more to learn about from a "global" perspective.

Today, the most amazing warriors don't carry traditional or modern weapons, they are armed with vision, the ability to take action, and a sense of their connection to humanity.

To Mom and Dad: Your Child and the Martial Arts

A letter to parents –from an old martial art

teacher –about martial arts lessons and children.

I’m going on 50 years old, which really isn’t that old, but to talk to you about what a child, your child, stands to learn from taking martial arts lessons, it’s old enough. I took my first lesson at the age of 9, received my first degree black belt at 19, and this year I will celebrate my 30^th year of teaching and assistant teaching the martial arts.

I’m going to condense my experience into a few hundred words for you; the goal is to give you the 30-year perspective on what I have learned as a result of my training –and what I know your child will learn, should you decide to make the martial arts a part of his or her life.

In some ways, martial arts schools are all the same. Each school is going to be contained in some kind of space, like a shopping mall, a free-standing building, a room in a gym, in an office building, a garage, or maybe on a stretch of lawn in a park or in someone’s backyard. What makes a martial school great is not the space it is in, although as parents we want the school to be clean and safe; what makes or breaks a martial arts school is the people that fill that space.

Here lies the primary reason to enroll –and then keep –your child in martial arts lessons, from the moment they first meet the age requirements of a school, until they leave your nest: The people.

The teachers (and students) in a martial arts school become leaders, heroes, role models, and friends to your child; and while martial arts teachers, like every kind of teacher, have their various strengths and weaknesses, their influence and friendship is worth every penny you will ever spend on tuition, times 10.

I remember my teachers, I remember the senior students in my classes, I remember my classmates and the students who joined after me. I remember when I was 12-years-old and a red belt student, a man in his mid 20’s, told me, nonchalantly, that “practice was the key to being a great martial artist –or a great anything.” I can hear his voice as if he told me that yesterday –and the advice has shaped my life. My father probably told me the same thing a 1000 times, but who listens to their parents –until much later in life?

A martial arts teacher is a real man or woman; they’re not heroes fabricated by the entertainment industry. These are real people that will be there, in their classes, day after day, patient, persistent, and persuasive. Their message is about consistent effort, about perseverance, about focus and goals and defense and self-control. Even teachers who can’t speak English can, with an uncanny ability delivered through their coaching, translate values and powerful, life-changing ideas to their students.

The kind of education a good martial arts teacher provides a young person is different from anything they will learn in grade school, from parents, or from football, soccer, or gymnastics coaches. The magic that forms in the long term relationship between a martial arts teacher and his or her students makes them an incredibly valuable, but all too often unacknowledged, part of “the village” that can help raise your child to be confident, self-disciplined, resilient, and resourceful.

Literally thousands of adults have told me, long after they stopped practicing the martial arts, what a powerful and positive influence their martial arts teacher was, and still is, in their life. I concur. Even the teachers that I came to think were inadequate, when I look back, I realize were a gift.

I owe them all a huge debt of gratitude for helping me develop respect for my self and others, for helping me build by body, develop my coping skills, and for the confidence their constant attention and direction gave me. It took me a long time to understand the value of their friendship, but oh, now, I so completely get it. What a blessing! I would hope that every child would have the chance to interact with teachers like I had, men and women who coached and fixed and taught and laughed and yelled and, as I now understand, loved.

The second most valuable reason to have your child studying the martial arts, any style, any method, is the philosophy that goes with the training. Every style, every teacher of any skill, has something positive to teach your child. Some, of course, do it much better than others, but whether they know it or not, they are imparting wisdom of the most extraordinary kind –and at a time in a child’s life that they really need it.

I can still hear my teacher’s words:

“Eyes straight ahead! Focus!”

“It’s ok to be afraid, just don’t let it stop you from moving and trying!”

“What are the two qualities of a champion?” We would answer, shouting, “Attention to detail and follow through, sir!”

“Real bravery isn’t found in fighting! It’s found in not fighting!”

“Attention! Pay your respect!”

Pay your respect, indeed.

Mom, Dad, every lesson is important and it’s worth every penny, every minute you spend convincing your son or daughter that going to class that day is better than watching TV; it’s worth every bump, bruise, stubbed toe, and every tear.

The good times, the victories, the understanding of the value of finally breaking through a barrier, the friendships, the little kids, the teenagers, the parents, and the old folks –it’s so good, so very worthwhile, and so needed in today’s world, that I had to write you about it. I had to encourage you –and try to give you the big-picture perspective on the martial arts. If you can swing it, get your child into a martial arts school and keep them there, even when they don’t recognize the value of what they’re doing.

They will, someday.

About the Author

Tom Callos is a consultant to martial arts instructors, currently helping teachers to work environmentalism, anger management, kindness and leadership training into their schools. His websites are http://www.tomcallos.com/ and http://www.ultimateblackbelttest.com/. He may be reached by phone (PST) at 530-903-0286 and/or by e-mail at tomcallos@gmail.com.

Stream-of-Consciousness Teaching for the Matial Arts School Owner

Martial Arts School Business Advice –Coming at You From the Future, From Left Field, and Made of Things You Will, Most Likely, NEVER Read About in a Martial Arts Business Publication

Stream-of-Consciousness Teaching By Tom Callos

First things first:

Value. BUILD VALUE. Sell value.

Benefits. BUILD BENEFITS. Sell benefits.

Perceived value and actual value; perceived benefits and actual benefits.

Build them, sell them.

Concepts:

• Make a tool; find out tool serves more purposes, has more value that originally perceived. Tool with many uses is valuable.

• Teach self-defense; discover that people are hurt and/or killed by a LOT of other things besides round kicks and back-fists; learn what these things are –and integrate them into your curriculum.

• Abandon the pursuit of business, become a martial artist committed to enlightenment and service; suddenly realize that this IS the business –and that you now have something (more)valuable to sell that serves you (spiritually) serves your students, serves the community, and serves the world. Realize that’s why you came here in the first place.

OK, with all of that out of the way, I am here to talk to you about your business –and what it’s going to be like in the future.

First off, recognize that our business is life-coaching, not teaching self-defense/exercise.

Exercise is self-defense from ill health. A healthy diet is self-defense from food-related health issues –and the food we consume has a direct effect on the planet, so consciousness about food production and what it does to the world is a form of global self-defense (like it or not, your consumption has a ripple effect far beyond your dinner table).

Practicing meditation is a form of perspective self-defense. Developing a positive and healthy perspective about things like defeat, food, consumerism, relationships, competition, death, impermanence, detachment, and compassion (the short-short list) is mental self-defense. Mental self-defense is the ability to use your mind to create understanding, happiness, health, connection and compassion as opposed to pain, suffering, jealousy, envy, lust, addiction, and hate (another short list).

Community involvement is self-defense from selfishness, narcissism, disconnection, and isolation. Practicing forgiveness and compassion is a form of spiritual self-defense. Spiritual self-defense is the ability to understand, feel, and put to use the idea that we are all of the same family, that we are all more connected than we are disconnected, and that there is nothing more important than love, kindness, compassion for others, and non-violent solutions to our problems. Spiritual self-defense is the idea that we would behave the way, now, that we would if our maker, our God, our _______ (name the person, place, thing, or idea that you would do and be your absolute best for) were here –and watching us.

Now, let me reiterate:

Recognize that our business is life-coaching, not teaching self-defense/exercise, not teaching a complicated skill-set of maneuvers and movements designed to prepare us for hand-to-hand combat. It is not found in the selling of belt programs, of contracts, and of retail gear. Our business is not about simply building self-confidence –we are in the business of LIFE and COACHING and COMMUNITY and UNDERSTANDING.

Now, understand this:

The purpose of your training is to be an example of the benefits derived from the study and practice of the martial arts. This is the best thing you can do for your school, for your students, for your community, and for the world. Getting your own poop together –makes it a LOT easier to help others get theirs together too. And on the other side of that note that helping other people get their stuff together is part of the way you get your own stuff together.

It’s a real give and take, isn’t it? That’s a good thing.

About Your Business

You’re only going to teach people to expand their skills to the place where you have expanded your own. You might fake some of that for awhile, but it won’t fool people for very long. The plan is to expand your own skills, your own awareness, your own level of compassion, understanding, your own sense of humanity, your own wisdom, your own centeredness, your own sense of community connectedness, your own inner-Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, or _________ (name your favorite spiritual person, place, or thing here).

Do this and you have something of real, deep, meaningful value. You can then give something to your students that they take with them into their life, something wise, something needed, something that will serve them and protect them better than any technique.

Let me break, here –to make a point:

Which of the following things cause more pain and suffering in the world?

Jabs and right crosses or emotional isolation?

Arm bars or anger?

Side and/or round kicks or unhealthy diets?

Foot sweeps and take-downs or bigotry?

Wrist locks or ignorance?

Knife hand strikes or greed?

Knee attacks or depression?

Our business is the business of making the world a better, safer, more compassionate place. We should go about it methodically, our first step being the introduction of a kind of practice, a physical/mental/emotional/spiritual exercise that helps us battle the ego, helps us see more clearly, helps us deal with the fear, helps us to find our center.

This work is harder than learning a kata, harder to do than mastering a technique, more challenging than running a successful business, but more fulfilling than just about anything else in the world.

A Request and/or Suggestion

I’d like to ask something of you. Consider it a request and/or a suggestion:

• I’d like to ask you to ask more of yourself, this year, than you have in the last 10.

• I’d like to ask you to renew your study –with a new perspective and a new idea of what you/we are here to do.

• I’d like to ask you to re-craft your school’s mission statement, your curriculum, your goals, purpose, and intent to reflect a new understanding of your purpose here.

• I’d like to ask you find a group of spiritually evolved people, not necessarily in your neighborhood, who you respect enough/so much, that when they speak, you will listen.

• I would like to ask you to look very carefully, very deeply at who you’re hanging out with.

• I’d like to ask you to step out of the current methods and intend of martial arts school management advice –and see if there isn’t something bigger, more valuable, and more relevant to today’s world just waiting there for you to embrace it.

I don’t know how to plot your course, exactly, from this place –but I do believe that this is the best work, the best contemplation, the best beginning for your school, your career, your business, your students, and the world.

Tom Callos