To Mom and Dad: Your Child and the Martial Arts

A letter to parents –from an old martial art

teacher –about martial arts lessons and children.

I’m going on 50 years old, which really isn’t that old, but to talk to you about what a child, your child, stands to learn from taking martial arts lessons, it’s old enough. I took my first lesson at the age of 9, received my first degree black belt at 19, and this year I will celebrate my 30^th year of teaching and assistant teaching the martial arts.

I’m going to condense my experience into a few hundred words for you; the goal is to give you the 30-year perspective on what I have learned as a result of my training –and what I know your child will learn, should you decide to make the martial arts a part of his or her life.

In some ways, martial arts schools are all the same. Each school is going to be contained in some kind of space, like a shopping mall, a free-standing building, a room in a gym, in an office building, a garage, or maybe on a stretch of lawn in a park or in someone’s backyard. What makes a martial school great is not the space it is in, although as parents we want the school to be clean and safe; what makes or breaks a martial arts school is the people that fill that space.

Here lies the primary reason to enroll –and then keep –your child in martial arts lessons, from the moment they first meet the age requirements of a school, until they leave your nest: The people.

The teachers (and students) in a martial arts school become leaders, heroes, role models, and friends to your child; and while martial arts teachers, like every kind of teacher, have their various strengths and weaknesses, their influence and friendship is worth every penny you will ever spend on tuition, times 10.

I remember my teachers, I remember the senior students in my classes, I remember my classmates and the students who joined after me. I remember when I was 12-years-old and a red belt student, a man in his mid 20’s, told me, nonchalantly, that “practice was the key to being a great martial artist –or a great anything.” I can hear his voice as if he told me that yesterday –and the advice has shaped my life. My father probably told me the same thing a 1000 times, but who listens to their parents –until much later in life?

A martial arts teacher is a real man or woman; they’re not heroes fabricated by the entertainment industry. These are real people that will be there, in their classes, day after day, patient, persistent, and persuasive. Their message is about consistent effort, about perseverance, about focus and goals and defense and self-control. Even teachers who can’t speak English can, with an uncanny ability delivered through their coaching, translate values and powerful, life-changing ideas to their students.

The kind of education a good martial arts teacher provides a young person is different from anything they will learn in grade school, from parents, or from football, soccer, or gymnastics coaches. The magic that forms in the long term relationship between a martial arts teacher and his or her students makes them an incredibly valuable, but all too often unacknowledged, part of “the village” that can help raise your child to be confident, self-disciplined, resilient, and resourceful.

Literally thousands of adults have told me, long after they stopped practicing the martial arts, what a powerful and positive influence their martial arts teacher was, and still is, in their life. I concur. Even the teachers that I came to think were inadequate, when I look back, I realize were a gift.

I owe them all a huge debt of gratitude for helping me develop respect for my self and others, for helping me build by body, develop my coping skills, and for the confidence their constant attention and direction gave me. It took me a long time to understand the value of their friendship, but oh, now, I so completely get it. What a blessing! I would hope that every child would have the chance to interact with teachers like I had, men and women who coached and fixed and taught and laughed and yelled and, as I now understand, loved.

The second most valuable reason to have your child studying the martial arts, any style, any method, is the philosophy that goes with the training. Every style, every teacher of any skill, has something positive to teach your child. Some, of course, do it much better than others, but whether they know it or not, they are imparting wisdom of the most extraordinary kind –and at a time in a child’s life that they really need it.

I can still hear my teacher’s words:

“Eyes straight ahead! Focus!”

“It’s ok to be afraid, just don’t let it stop you from moving and trying!”

“What are the two qualities of a champion?” We would answer, shouting, “Attention to detail and follow through, sir!”

“Real bravery isn’t found in fighting! It’s found in not fighting!”

“Attention! Pay your respect!”

Pay your respect, indeed.

Mom, Dad, every lesson is important and it’s worth every penny, every minute you spend convincing your son or daughter that going to class that day is better than watching TV; it’s worth every bump, bruise, stubbed toe, and every tear.

The good times, the victories, the understanding of the value of finally breaking through a barrier, the friendships, the little kids, the teenagers, the parents, and the old folks –it’s so good, so very worthwhile, and so needed in today’s world, that I had to write you about it. I had to encourage you –and try to give you the big-picture perspective on the martial arts. If you can swing it, get your child into a martial arts school and keep them there, even when they don’t recognize the value of what they’re doing.

They will, someday.

About the Author

Tom Callos is a consultant to martial arts instructors, currently helping teachers to work environmentalism, anger management, kindness and leadership training into their schools. His websites are http://www.tomcallos.com/ and http://www.ultimateblackbelttest.com/. He may be reached by phone (PST) at 530-903-0286 and/or by e-mail at tomcallos@gmail.com.

How to Approach Your Black Belt Test

Your black belt test, in any style of martial arts, is your Olympics. From the first day you stepped on the mat, you began preparing for your test, whether you were aware of it or not. On the day you test for your black belt, you want to be at your absolute best, your peak; and going through the test should be like crawling through a long tunnel between one world and the next, like a birth; a rebirth. When you come to the other side, you should be changed; from that day on you are a new person.

When you practice your martial arts, whether you’re in your first week of lessons or a veteran of a thousand classes, knowing your test is coming up, that you are preparing yourself, that that day’s training session is connected to your test, gives you direction. You train with intention, with purpose and a sense of mission.

Every part of your life, every relationship, everything you consume, every thought, every action, every movement contains in it something that has to do with your test. You are in training. You are preparing yourself.

Getting ready for your black belt test requires that you become a representative of the martial arts. You represent the truth of it –or its frivolity. You represent every master teacher of every style of every school since the beginning. To everyone around you, you should represent the seriousness of the undertaking. It is more than your formal education, it is more than a contest, it is more than getting your degree, passing the Bar or getting married or any other event in your life. This is your black belt test, this is the event that requires you to practice ten-thousand repetitions, to dig deep, to be consistent, to train and train and train until the connections in your brain are so strong, so time-tested, and so automatic that the space between thinking and doing is eliminated.

Every toe knows its exact place. The foot is aligned, perfectly, as is the knee, the hip, the torso, the shoulders, the head, and the eyes. Like a master carpenter yielding a hammer, your hands, feet, elbows, and knees follow an exact path; they hit their targets with exact precision, with surprising force, with confidence that can only be born from practice. Your movement isn’t just movement, it is integration, it comes from your center, and your balance is perfect. You could do it all backwards, blindfolded, against one or more people, in the dark, on the grass, in the water, or anywhere, anytime, with or without a proper warm up.

When you test for your black belt, you are what you have shaped yourself to be. You have adjusted for any limitations and injuries. You move with a confidence that comes from repetition, from practice, from awareness, from intent, and from your breath. No stone has been left unturned. You ran the extra mile, you eliminated the unhealthy from your diet, you studied the best of the best, and you shaped and forged and worked on your movement. For you, it is all about the technique and nothing about the technique. Something drives you that is not your muscles.

When you test for your black belt, even your mistakes are polished. When you fall you flow, when you get hit, you embrace, when you tap, you win with a smile. You’re not hard on yourself, you don’t get angry; you cope, you adjust, and you accept. You have worked through the mistakes. You have worked through the frustration and the anger and the injuries.

The earlier you recognize the value of training for your black belt test, the better. The earlier you begin, the better. Preparing for your test shapes your experience; it makes you a better person. When other people are easily distracted, you are focused. When others eat without purpose, you choose a diet that prepares you for your training. When others give into anger, you see it as a chance to practice your control. You’re in training to be a black belt.

A professionally trained dancer carries with her a sense of center, of style, of confidence that lasts her entire life. A West Point graduate has a certain posture, an attentiveness and sense of confidence that shines –regardless of the time that has passed since graduation. A black belt who approaches his or her training with mission and seriousness –carries the experience to the grave.

You prepare for your black belt test with everything you have. When you do that, the experience serves you, it is rich, it is life-shaping, and it brings to you skills that you might never have acquired any other way.

Approach your black belt test, starting today, with these ideas in mind. When you step on the mat, remember where you are headed. Make your practice go deep –and then deeper, and then deeper yet. Put as much focus and energy into your hour of practice as you put into anything you do in your life.

Video and Speaking of Faith Interview with Tom Callos

Out of the Dojo from Speaking of Faith on Vimeo.

The UBBT and 100 store link

Stream-of-Consciousness Teaching for the Matial Arts School Owner

Martial Arts School Business Advice –Coming at You From the Future, From Left Field, and Made of Things You Will, Most Likely, NEVER Read About in a Martial Arts Business Publication

Stream-of-Consciousness Teaching By Tom Callos

First things first:

Value. BUILD VALUE. Sell value.

Benefits. BUILD BENEFITS. Sell benefits.

Perceived value and actual value; perceived benefits and actual benefits.

Build them, sell them.

Concepts:

• Make a tool; find out tool serves more purposes, has more value that originally perceived. Tool with many uses is valuable.

• Teach self-defense; discover that people are hurt and/or killed by a LOT of other things besides round kicks and back-fists; learn what these things are –and integrate them into your curriculum.

• Abandon the pursuit of business, become a martial artist committed to enlightenment and service; suddenly realize that this IS the business –and that you now have something (more)valuable to sell that serves you (spiritually) serves your students, serves the community, and serves the world. Realize that’s why you came here in the first place.

OK, with all of that out of the way, I am here to talk to you about your business –and what it’s going to be like in the future.

First off, recognize that our business is life-coaching, not teaching self-defense/exercise.

Exercise is self-defense from ill health. A healthy diet is self-defense from food-related health issues –and the food we consume has a direct effect on the planet, so consciousness about food production and what it does to the world is a form of global self-defense (like it or not, your consumption has a ripple effect far beyond your dinner table).

Practicing meditation is a form of perspective self-defense. Developing a positive and healthy perspective about things like defeat, food, consumerism, relationships, competition, death, impermanence, detachment, and compassion (the short-short list) is mental self-defense. Mental self-defense is the ability to use your mind to create understanding, happiness, health, connection and compassion as opposed to pain, suffering, jealousy, envy, lust, addiction, and hate (another short list).

Community involvement is self-defense from selfishness, narcissism, disconnection, and isolation. Practicing forgiveness and compassion is a form of spiritual self-defense. Spiritual self-defense is the ability to understand, feel, and put to use the idea that we are all of the same family, that we are all more connected than we are disconnected, and that there is nothing more important than love, kindness, compassion for others, and non-violent solutions to our problems. Spiritual self-defense is the idea that we would behave the way, now, that we would if our maker, our God, our _______ (name the person, place, thing, or idea that you would do and be your absolute best for) were here –and watching us.

Now, let me reiterate:

Recognize that our business is life-coaching, not teaching self-defense/exercise, not teaching a complicated skill-set of maneuvers and movements designed to prepare us for hand-to-hand combat. It is not found in the selling of belt programs, of contracts, and of retail gear. Our business is not about simply building self-confidence –we are in the business of LIFE and COACHING and COMMUNITY and UNDERSTANDING.

Now, understand this:

The purpose of your training is to be an example of the benefits derived from the study and practice of the martial arts. This is the best thing you can do for your school, for your students, for your community, and for the world. Getting your own poop together –makes it a LOT easier to help others get theirs together too. And on the other side of that note that helping other people get their stuff together is part of the way you get your own stuff together.

It’s a real give and take, isn’t it? That’s a good thing.

About Your Business

You’re only going to teach people to expand their skills to the place where you have expanded your own. You might fake some of that for awhile, but it won’t fool people for very long. The plan is to expand your own skills, your own awareness, your own level of compassion, understanding, your own sense of humanity, your own wisdom, your own centeredness, your own sense of community connectedness, your own inner-Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, or _________ (name your favorite spiritual person, place, or thing here).

Do this and you have something of real, deep, meaningful value. You can then give something to your students that they take with them into their life, something wise, something needed, something that will serve them and protect them better than any technique.

Let me break, here –to make a point:

Which of the following things cause more pain and suffering in the world?

Jabs and right crosses or emotional isolation?

Arm bars or anger?

Side and/or round kicks or unhealthy diets?

Foot sweeps and take-downs or bigotry?

Wrist locks or ignorance?

Knife hand strikes or greed?

Knee attacks or depression?

Our business is the business of making the world a better, safer, more compassionate place. We should go about it methodically, our first step being the introduction of a kind of practice, a physical/mental/emotional/spiritual exercise that helps us battle the ego, helps us see more clearly, helps us deal with the fear, helps us to find our center.

This work is harder than learning a kata, harder to do than mastering a technique, more challenging than running a successful business, but more fulfilling than just about anything else in the world.

A Request and/or Suggestion

I’d like to ask something of you. Consider it a request and/or a suggestion:

• I’d like to ask you to ask more of yourself, this year, than you have in the last 10.

• I’d like to ask you to renew your study –with a new perspective and a new idea of what you/we are here to do.

• I’d like to ask you to re-craft your school’s mission statement, your curriculum, your goals, purpose, and intent to reflect a new understanding of your purpose here.

• I’d like to ask you find a group of spiritually evolved people, not necessarily in your neighborhood, who you respect enough/so much, that when they speak, you will listen.

• I would like to ask you to look very carefully, very deeply at who you’re hanging out with.

• I’d like to ask you to step out of the current methods and intend of martial arts school management advice –and see if there isn’t something bigger, more valuable, and more relevant to today’s world just waiting there for you to embrace it.

I don’t know how to plot your course, exactly, from this place –but I do believe that this is the best work, the best contemplation, the best beginning for your school, your career, your business, your students, and the world.

Tom Callos

Expectations of Your Involvement in the Ultimate Black Belt Test

Expectations of Your Involvement in the Ultimate Black Belt Test

Toss a rock in a still pond and watch the ripples of the impact fan out from the center. This is how I see your involvement in the UBBT. At the center are your own personal achievements; at the outside is the effect you have on the entire “pond.”

First

Your commitment to the UBBT, which is your commitment to your personal test, should first be a physical one:

• Alter your diet by eliminating junk and paying very close attention to what you consume (conscious consumption).
• Increase your cardio training, in whatever form suits you.
• Increase your strength training, in whatever form suits you.
• Practice your martial arts to the point of mastering those skills you’ve decided to focus on for this period of time.

You need to lean out, muscle up, and get rid of that belly. You should come to your final test looking like you’re in the best shape of your life. If you intend to test for rank, this is an absolute must.

Your form should be a masterpiece; as an example:

Here are some Japanese form masterpieces: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mU2hqaaK8AA

Here’s an example of a Wu Shu masterpiece:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ7oDlXq9BM

Your martial arts skills should show that you prepared yourself with hundreds of hours of practice for your performance.

Second

You are expected to treat your UBBT team exactly the way you would want your own black belts to treat their own teammates. Do it in a way that shows your students exactly how it’s supposed to be done.

Third

Craft your story in journal and video. While you are a student, always, you are also a teacher, always. Your documentation and test-diaries should explain and illustrate the ABC’s of test preparation –to the best of your abilities. After your test is over, you’re students should be able to review your journals and learn from them, they should model your approach to testing. If you are not doing this test to teach others how a test is to be done, they you have missed a significant opportunity.

Fourth

Your test must engage other people; your students –and your community. At some point, you should realize that your test isn’t all about you, only. In the “ultimate” test, many other people would be affected by your commitment, inspired by your actions, and involved in their own self-improvement because of your efforts.

Fifth

Your 13 month test should add up to be something more significant that a test of your physical endurance. You need to look for a WOW that can be initiated during your year. That WOW can take almost any shape, but it something indicative of understanding of the expanding role of the martial arts teacher –in the world.

In Closing

The UBBT isn’t just a black belt test, it’s a movement to improve the quality of education provided by martial arts schools around the world. Your test must set an example for the industry, you must, at whatever level you happen to be at, understand each layer of the project –and commit yourself to excellence, even in failure.

Tom

Interview with Tom Callos for Martialinfo.com about the Ultimate Black Belt Test, The100., and a New Vision for Martial Arts Teachers

Conducted by phone, April 22, 2008 by Fariborz Azhakh of www.martialinfo.com

Martialinfo: Would you provide us with a little of your background?

Tom Callos: Martial arts wise, I was 6-years old when I saw the first episode of The Green Hornet (1966) featuring Bruce Lee as Kato, 9-years-old when I watched my first judo class (the instructor would invite me on the mat after the adults-only classes and show me how to roll and fall), and 11-years old when I first joined a school. That was 1971.

I received my black belt in taekwondo in 1979, and moved to San Jose, CA to join Master Ernie Reyes’ school in 1980. I opened my first school in 1981 and in 1991 I was overseeing two schools, 10 miles apart with a total active enrollment (at their peak) of about 800 students. Due to my success at the schools, I was invited to join Educational Funding Company’s Board of Directors, which is when I started becoming a teacher and consultant to the martial arts industry. Since then I have worked with most of the key companies in the martial arts industry. In 2003 I created the Ultimate Black Belt Test and in the following year I started working on my own martial arts association, The 100.

Martialinfo: Explain the Ultimate Black Belt Test.

Tom Callos: The UBBT is a complete redesign of the testing process. It expands the purpose of a test, it expands the nature of training for a test, and it investigates and redefines the objectives for all rank testing in the first place. The UBBT is designed to be the most challenging and authentic black belt test in the world, but it was also designed to improve the martial arts industry.

Martialinfo: How does the UBBT improve the industry?

Tom Callos: A friend of mine, John Bielenberg, is a well known teacher and innovator in the graphic design world. One of his primary slogans is Think Wrong, which spells out his viewpoint about conventional approaches to design, creativity, and problem solving.

The UBBT helps the industry by thinking wrong about what activities make the martial artist smarter, better equipped to cope with self-defense issues beyond the obvious physical ones, about the best ways to show and tell the general public the benefits of the martial arts, and about what role a martial arts teacher is supposed to play in the world.

You see, I believe in the power of the individual to make a difference in the world. My heroes are people like Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Ali, and just about any person who has taken action for others, for a cause, on the side of right. I believe that a martial arts teacher is supposed to teach, educate, and empower his or her students to fight the big battles, to tackle issues that might scare others, issues that relate to personal protection, protection of family and community, and even of the planet.

The problem is most martial arts schools don’t know how to integrate these ideas into their curriculum. They don’t understand, yet, how to take their martial arts out of their schools –and put it to work in the world. There will be a giant shift in the industry, a huge upgrade in the perceived value of martial arts training, and a monumental change in what a martial arts teacher does in the world when school owners and teachers finally get the scope and intent of this new kind of martial arts educational mission.

Martialinfo: Does the UBBT’s curriculum contain the ingredients for this new mission you describe?

Tom Callos: It does, in part. There are requirements in the UBBT’s curriculum that might force a teacher to step out of his or her comfort zone. The curriculum requires the participant to get off the mat and into the community. It asks people to learn meditation, to get outdoors, to help others, to mend relationships, and to learn new things.

But there is something the curriculum doesn’t contain that is a vital part of the work. That missing ingredient is my belief that martial arts teachers should be extraordinary people –and I mean extraordinary in the image of people like Mandela, Armstrong, Julia Butterfly Hill, Gore, Dita Sari, and Wangari Mattai.

I mean, if a martial arts teacher and/or veteran practitioner doesn’t have the courage, the perseverance, the self-discipline, and the fortitude to tackle issues relevant to people’s health and well being, then who does? If a martial arts master teacher doesn’t know how to make his or her work more meaningful, more effective, more relevant to the world today, then what’s all this training for?

Do kicking, punching, and throwing contain all the value of the martial arts? Or is there something beyond the physical? And if there is something else, then is it meant only for individual benefit, or can it be applied to the world?

My job is to do for the role of martial arts teacher what Ernie Reyes and the West Coast Demo Team did for the martial arts competition world, what Dana White and his colleagues did for mixed martial arts fighting. I think martial arts teachers are in the perfect position to be leaders in a new global view of self-defense, a view that looks at the big picture, and a view that transcends the current definition of ‘what are the martial arts for.’

The UBBT and the 100. are both parts of a community that nurtures and encourages instructors to expand their curriculum, to step out of their schools, and to embrace a kind of thinking that may be new to the martial arts, but that is common among the most self-actualized, cognizant, proactive citizens of the world.

Martialinfo: What is The 100.?

Tom Callos: The 100. is my martial arts association and it was inspired by Rosa Parks. Rosa was a 43 year old African-American seamstress who took action at the right time and place and as a result, helped make history. I started The 100. with the idea that 100 martial arts teachers, I mean people who have spent their entire lives forging themselves to be warriors and teachers, ought to be able to equal the power of one Rosa Parks. Couldn’t we create the right time and place? Couldn’t we see injustice and do something about it? The 100. is an association about martial arts business for people who believe it is our business to make a difference beyond the ring and outside of the dojo.

Martialinfo: So the UBBT is about testing and The 100. is a about activism?

Tom Callos: All my work points to the same place. It’s all about walking the talk of the potential of martial arts training. It’s all about a kind of martial arts teacher that is a hero to others, a living example of martial arts principals put into action.

Martialinfo: Do you have members who are examples of your ideas?

Tom Callos: Mike and Karen Valentine of San Rafael, CA have the first officially Green Certified school in the nation and they have the first ever ocean-based cleanup requirements for black belt testing. What this tells the general public is ‘See, we’re not just fighters, we’re warriors for a better, healthier world too.’ Tim Rosenelli of Pennsylvania is now using his degree in environmental engineering in his martial arts school and it’s bringing him students he would never have met otherwise. Dan and Kim Rominski, Alicia Kastner, Bryan Klein, and Charles Chi, all of New Jersey, are running acts of kindness programs that are making community leaders stop, look, and listen to the martial art in a way that had never happened before. Brian Williams of Nevada has started the One Million Acts foundation where he’s working on getting people all around the nation involved in performing one million acts of kindness. UBBT member Andy Mandell is on the last 1000 miles of a 10,000 mile walk around the perimeter of the U.S. for diabetes education.

What’s happening is that the UBBT and The 100.are expanding the role of the martial arts teacher in the world. We’re practicing a new kind of martial arts that isn’t just physical, but that transcends the subject matter.

Martialinfo: So, someone we know recently called you a “Tree-hugger.” Are you?

Tom Callos: (laughs) No, I’m much more than that, there’s just not a name for it yet. I’m a martial arts teacher that believes in the power of the martial arts to make change. I believe that the fear I faced and defeated on the mat and in the ring was meant to be applied to other things. I believe in martial arts mastery –and I think it’s my job to carry on the work my martial arts teachers, people like GM Jhoon Rhee and Master Ernie Reyes, Sr., have been doing. I think I’m supposed to add to the martial arts world, not just exist in it.

Master Reyes was always fearless in the way he attacked competition and our demo team performances. I think he was showing us what could be done if you focused. I think he meant to empower his students with a belief that we should ‘go for the WOW.’ With the examples of my teachers and heroes, how could I shoot for anything other than something powerful, meaningful, and important?

Martialinfo.com: Are you still accepting people in the UBBT and the 100?

Tom Callos: Any time, any place. My only requirement is courage and the understanding that we are here to do something unbelievable, something most people can’t even get their head around. I’m looking for people who are tired of the status quo and who are willing to try new things to see what happens.

Martialinfo.com: Thank you for taking the time to talk.

Tom Callos: It is my honor to be here and to have an audience for these concepts.

Tom Callos may be reached at tomcallos@gmail.com. The UBBT’s address is www.ultimateblackbelttest.com, The 100’s is www.theonehundred.org.

Watch for a recorded interview with Tom Callos to be aired soon on the NPR radio program Speaking of Faith at www.speakingoffaith.org.